daily diary: 5/6/25

I am nothing if not an eternal student. (I used to be a dark academia/Donna Tartt devotee so let me have this dramatic opening, okay?)

These days, my most common "fields" of study have been Japanese and Heisei era Jfashion. Fortunately, these two things very often coincide. The other day I bought a book on fashion history at a bookstore in Shibuya. It's entirely written in Japanese with nary a furigana in sight. It's going to take a while to get through and translate, but the time is going to pass anyway. 

This morning, on the last day of my Golden Week break, I set up shop at a nearby kissaten and got to work. 

The book (very straight-forwardly called ストリートファッション / Street Fashion) covers Japanese street fashion from 1980 - 2020. I did consider starting at the beginning, but let's be real, my favorite decade of Jfashion is late 90s - early 2000s so I was eager to get to that part. 

I started by transcribing the first two pages, and then chipped away at the translation. 

As it's only the introduction, I didn't learn anything super groundbreaking. In fairness, this is an area I'm pretty well acquainted with already, so I wasn't surprised. Regardless, it's nice to have more primary sources, especially written in the language of origin. 

I'm sure many of you are cringing at the sight of all my hand-written notes. I love writing in my books, always have and always will. I have a couple of friends that are pretty pedantic about the quality of their paperbacks and would never even crack a spine. I don't know... I think notes and smudges and wrinkles tell a story about where a book has been, as cliche as that sounds. It's always a joy to me when a secondhand book I've bought has a former reader's notes in the margins. It's like a conversation through time. 

I haven't yet decided what I'm going to do with this information. I'm considering a couple of ideas for more serious posts, albeit once I get through more material. Or it might just stay in my brain. Who knows. 

After a couple hours, I called it quits and made my way back home in the rain. 

I recently got back into playing Stardew Valley so I've been on my farm grind. This is me with my various chickens and ducks, which I have named after different types of noodles. 

The first half of my Golden Week was garbage, but it ended all right. I'm playing a lot of Stardew Valley and dancing around my room. The last three days of the holiday were good. I'm processing a lot of big thoughts and maybe I'll find a decent way to verbalize them. I don't know. We'll see. 

dear diary: 10/23/24

Today's task was to visit the Immigration Office. I dreaded it. 

For starters, it takes over an hour to get there. Second, it's a bureaucratic bore. I prepared for the trip by choosing a new book to read and having a pre-journey cup of yuzu tea.

In the time it took to get to the office (and wait to be seen), I was able to get halfway through the book. 

I was surprised by how painless the entire procedure was. The young man who dealt with my documents called me "sister," which was sweet. The whole process took less than thirty minutes. In fact, getting to the office took longer than having my documents reviewed. 

On the way back, it began to rain. I watched it fall from the bus window and wished I'd brought an umbrella. 

Once I made it to Shibuya, I had a delicious curry and pho lunch.

My lotus tea came with that (capital G) Good ice. You know what I'm talking about. 

Crunchy (╥ ω ╥)

As luck would have it, it started to pour on the walk from the station to my apartment. I was soaked to the bone. I was glad I didn't have any plans so I could get cozy and play video games for the remainder of the day. Today, I played Persona 5 at the behest of one of my friends. It's ridiculous, and I love it. 

Later...

Ugh. Something so stupid happened. After drying off and slipping into an oversized hoodie, I wanted hot tea. 

I placed the freshly brewed cup on the windowsill near my bed, and it somehow tipped over and spilled all over my stomach. It stung so terribly. I thought I was going to throw up. It even burned through my fake tan! I'm fine now. It still hurts a little, but I'll survive. I hope it doesn't blister...

That incident totally took the wind out of my sails. It also seemed to zap all the thoughts out of my head. I'm struggling to write. My brain hurts. Ouch. 

dear diary: 10/17/24

I've been feeling quite bad. 

I drank too much on Sunday, lost all of Monday to a hangover, surrendered Tuesday to depression, and spent the majority of Wednesday with a stabbing migraine.

This migraine followed me into Thursday (today), but I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. My psychiatrist is an older Japanese man who speaks decent English, and he said, "Life is very long. Don't try to move too fast." 

I read all of Mieko Kawakami's Heaven today. It's not a very long book, but I was completely captivated by it. It's the second Kawakami book I've read, following Breasts and Eggs, one of my all-time favorites. 

The story was beautiful and painful. Not that I expected anything less from Kawakami. It's been a while since I've read a book in English, and I'd forgotten how therapeutic it can be. I used to read extensively. Roughly five to ten novels per month, depending on length. 

When I moved to Japan, I felt guilty for consuming anything in English. Today, I needed the comfort of a book in my native language. 

After my appointment, I wanted more books. It was a sort of desperate and stupidly simple craving. I knew that there was a Tsutaya that sold English language books nearby, so I walked there. I saw the entire Twilight series and briefly considered buying them. (I didn't.)

Instead, I got two English-translated books from Japanese authors. The Woman in the Purple Skirt by Natsuko Imamura and There's No Such Thing As An Easy Job by Kikuko Tsumura. I haven't decided which I want to read first. Tomorrow I'll go to a cafe to read (by then I'll decide which) and write. That'll be nice. 

I ate curry for dinner at my local Coco. It never disappoints. A middle-aged woman works there, and I always see her when I go. She has a very comforting aura. When she smiles at me, I feel... safe. In the way familiarity feels safe. 

I'm genuinely not sure if any of this is coherent. 

I have so much free time waiting for my visa to change over. I feel like I'm wasting it. 

Well, life is long. I guess. 

dear diary: 10/11/24

This afternoon, I went to a super cute Angel Blue pop-up in Ginza. It was based on the whimsy and nostalgia of a childhood bedroom, namely one from the Heisei era. 

The artist, Yamashita Mero, did a beautiful job dressing the set and making it feel lived-in. 

It was a true feast for the eyes. Although it wasn't a very big space, I spent a while soaking it all in. 

That cat photo is hilarious. Why does its eyes look like that? I also wonder if that's someone in the art department's actual childhood cat. I bet it is. 

I immediately clocked the Furby and the Fueki glue boy. I recently got into Fueki when I saw that my local stationary mise had a bunch of random Fueki goods, like stickers, tear-off tabs, and lip balm. 

He looks so dumb, and I love him so much. 

I kind of freaked out when I saw the Baby Lips. I didn't know that was also a 2000s-thing in Japan. 

As an art director, I wish I could sit down with Yamashita and pick his brain. I wanna know where he sourced everything. Mercari... maybe?

After the pop-up, I wandered around Ginza for a while. The pop-up took place on the eighth floor of the Yurakucho Marui, a posh department store in Chiyoda. I love Japanese department stores; they are so clean and well-organized. Walking around one (especially during a low-traffic time) helps me clear my head. 

Eventually, I stopped in a bookstore and picked up some Jojo manga for a friend's birthday. (She doesn't read this blog, so I should be safe...) (￣b￣;)

I then had lunch at an oyster bar. Let me tell you, one glass of red wine and a fresh Hokkaido oyster later, and I was living it up. Loving life. In the words of Matthew Wilder, nothin' gonna break my stride. (See: foreshadowing)

While making my way to the underground, I totally ate shit. Stride: broken. I was texting and walking simultaneously (I'm dumb) and wearing my Big Girl platforms, a recipe for disaster. I rounded a corner and tripped. Some Ojiisan 100% saw my underwear. For free. 

I'm physically fine, but it was embarrassing. I used to dislike the Tokyoite tendency to ignore everyone around you (even when someone trips and kisses the pavement), but I was grateful in this case. Shout out to everyone at that intersection who pretended that nothing happened. I love you.

Before heading to Ginza, I went to the Starbucks in my neighborhood. (Hi, nonlinear timeline. Who am I? Christopher Nolan?) 

I'm not sure why this is, but once I've put on my outfit and finished my makeup, I have to leave the house. Like... right away. Even if my plans aren't until later, I'd rather wait it out at a coffee shop than mope around my house in my going-out clothes. I don't know why, but it makes me feel like a ghost. Like I'm haunting my own apartment. If I'm at home, I gotta be in my pajamas. That's just the way it is. 

For an hour, I nursed an iced tea and worked on this short story about a gyaru and a Jirai Kei girlie who are best friends. I'm hoping to post it on this blog when it's finished. 

I'm going out for tacos and cocktails with a friend now. I'll talk to you later!

Later...

I'm home. I just now realized that I only took pictures of my drinks... (≖ᴗ≖ ✿)

After tacos (which were delicious), we went to a bar that does cocktails based on movies. You can also bring up a random movie that's not on the menu, and if the bartender knows it, he'll concoct a drink on the spot. 

I asked for a cocktail based on Paprika by Satoshi Kon. This is what the bartender came up with:

The hearts on top were pepperminty. They tasted a bit like York Peppermint Patties. The other cocktails I got were based on Blade Runner and Chungking Express. This was my second visit, and the drinks were even better this time around. Well... the first time, I got a cocktail based on John Carpenter's Halloween, and it came with a knife. That's pretty hard to beat. 

OK, I'm off now. I'm sleepy. And by the looks of it, I'll be in bed before 12. How nice. 

dear dairy: 10/8/24

4:53 PM 

It's raining today. I visited a friend in the hospital this afternoon, so I can't think of a more suitable weather for the occasion. Anything less than grey and gloomy would be sort of... mocking. 

A 90s J-drama called Beach Boys was playing on the TV in the hospital room. And in the most Valley Girl (or Valley gal?) tone possible: the lead characters are, like..... totally hot. 

My friend and I decided to have a Beach Boys marathon when she gets discharged. 

I left her to rest and am currently writing this from a nearby cafe. I had to travel about an hour to get to the hospital, which isn't that long in the grand Tokyo scheme, but I thought I ought to check out some of the local sites. I'd never been to this part of the city before. 

By local sites, I almost exclusively mean the ginza and whatever cafe I wander into. Today, it's a cafe with a black cat as its logo. Oh! I also went to one of those gachapon halls and got some Tamagotchi rings. 

I'm feeling a little worn down. I recently decided to stop using birth control after 13 years of taking it. Every day since has felt a bit like a scene from a body horror film. Speaking of: I'm excited to see the Substance. It doesn't come out until May in Japan, and at that rate, I might watch it on streaming with my sister when I go back to America for the holidays. I do miss going to the cinema. I haven't done it much since moving to Tokyo. 

I thought I'd sit here at this cafe for a while, but I'm already itching to go home. I want to have a long bath, curl up in bed, and dream up some new content for this blog. I'm really happy with the direction it's taken. I want to write more. Do more. 

I'll finish my iced coffee and head out. I'll check in later. 

7:38 PM

I'm home now. Ate some soup. 

8:23 PM

I just made the collage for this post. That's all I want to do these days: collage. I wish there was some kind of profession for that, but instead I've got to get back into English teaching. It's not ideal, but it keeps me in Japan. I'm going to keep looking for something else. Something better.

I'm going to have a bath now. I recently purchased these bath salts from a nearby Life スーパー, and they are so lush. 

(That King Dedede came out of a Kirby-themed bath bomb, and now he eternally sits on the edge of my tub, watching me bathe... like a creep.)

They make me feel like one of those capybaras in the hot springs of Shizuoka. Maybe next time I'll throw in some oranges for the full capy experience. 

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